So, I didn't write yesterday, I was in the gypsy wind. Started the day with Mimosas..and just enjoyed myself greatly. so, please forgive me my omission, even in the moment I thought about my anger. It is definitely situational, I guess some people have a low grade fury, I don't I am calm until I am not, mine is like Vesuvius. Explosive, but with signs. It is those signs that I look forward so I can short cut this energy. This weekend also brought on some realizations, that life itself is complicated but we do not need to treat it as such. So what if my heart is confused and feeling cycles of paradoxical feelings? So what? I can accept that, and that is the end of that, it short cuts the obsessive worrying about the future. All weekend I also did my best to honor what us Tantrikas call sense-goddesses, in essence taking the whole sensory process and making it sensual. I have of course been familiar with this line of thought for awhile, but I never applied it with compassion and love, and wow, it truly transformed things, not just for me, but it seems like it was contagious. So, I feel like I have my groove back, I feel like I am emerging from the tomb like Christian Rosenkruetz. The old me is dead and gone, but I think the new me will be just ok.
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